Robert and I spoke to granny yesterday. Through the video stream of Skype my mother’s love to her little grandchild is palpable, and my dad asked when we were coming to visit. I never believed it was possible, but being a mother to Robert rewarded me with a special tenderness towards my parents, especially my mother. Every time I bathe my baby and wash his smooth back with baby soap, I think that my mother must have done the same for me, and it fills me with wonder and brings tears to my eyes.
I am content to sit at home the whole day with Robert, and watch him grow and learn new tricks. Before he came along I did not realize the depth of love I was capable of, and the extents that I would go in order to see him smile. Loving him made me love my life more and view it from a different perspective. The balance has shifted, and somebody else is now the centre of my universe. For this brief space in time, I am also my baby’s main focus, and I am enjoying it while it lasts. Soon enough his world will expand to other people, other places and other interests. Until then, I will have a second chance at reliving my childhood, to cherish the good times and avoid mistakes of the past.
More food for thought comes from this blog post:
“Having a child is not for people who like to play safe. In giving birth, we give the universe the power to enrich our life immeasurably or shatter it irrevocably”. Yes, I am also grateful every step of the way. I pray all the time, in gratitude and in hope. Mashallah, “There but by the grace of god go I”. I share this journey of joy, and worry with every mother on the face of this earth. But most of all, becoming Robert’s mother connected me emotionally with my own mother. Because there is a deep bond of unselfish love that passes on from one generation to the next, and you can only truly appreciate the love you received, once it is your turn to pass it on. I love you mom.