I Wish You Knew

I would like to call you sometime. To tell you that you visited me in a dream, after a long absence. I would mention perhaps that we kissed, in the dream. I tasted your lips that remained forbidden to me in my waking life.

I would like to tell you that I am struggling to belong, in a place that you have never visited. That I feel like a stranger here, although I have been here before, I speak the language, and know how the locals operate. I wish I could tell you that this gypsy only found home in your eyes. I wish I could tell you what you meant to me, what you still mean.

I wish you knew that no matter how far I walked away, you always remain with me. I wish I could tell you that the best version of me was the woman who experienced the intensity of joy and suffering in loving you. I would tell you she was free from suffering for now, but lived in a shadowland, away from your light.

I am no longer the creature of fire and light that burned brightly in your presence. I am just a soul that soared once on the wings of angels, then crashed to the ground. But sometimes I can feel the remaining embers of that fire glowing in my innermost core, and I recall how it felt, to fly. And I still want to be gentle with every human I meet, because you walk this earth.

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