Tag Archives: Heartache

The Wrong Type of Available

Your online status Its ‘Available’ mocks me, to me? surely not. But I wouldn’t care if I knew you were present for some who will cry. Those souls will not mind, if you leave all the deadlines behind, when you … Continue reading

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Lament of the Forgotten

I send only one, of fifty texts that I draft then say it’s the last. Chiselled from heartache, my words pretend to be light, love hides in plain sight. And each time I get a thoughtless response, or none I … Continue reading

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Unwritten

Time passes quickly, and things could change in the blink of an eye. It has been over two months since I broke one self-imposed silence, and two weeks since we all had to self-isolate. I am glad that I met … Continue reading

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Two Love Letters

I wrote so many letters to the man whose existence in my life was an outward curse but an inner blessing. Two of them, separated by almost a year of suffering, punctuate and chronicle the evolution of my feelings for … Continue reading

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A Late Review of 2019

So much has happened since I last wrote to this blog. The year that passed came heavy with difficulties and heartache, and although I felt the urgent need to unburden, I was frequently torn between the need for brutal honesty, … Continue reading

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The Need For Closure

I have been silent on the blog, and it is less from lack of things to say and more from having too much weighing on my heart. Just as the clouds lifted over my working life, a huge sadness cast … Continue reading

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Your Final Gift

Love is not measured in minutes or days. If I added up all the moments I spent with you they will be one or two days at most. Yet I grieve your absence from my life, like a widow who … Continue reading

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This Too Shall Pass

I always dreaded a chance meeting with my imaginary lover. When this happened in the past, I used to get a terrible adrenaline rush, my heart raced uncontrollably and my leg muscles twitched and trembled in a fight-or-flight reflex. I … Continue reading

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Fixed at the Edges but Broken at the Centre

The past few weeks have been some of the most difficult in my working life, and the show is set to continue, during a year that is extremely heavy on conference and meeting schedules. I am heading my small unit … Continue reading

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My Displaced Soul

Fragments of my heart are still floating around. On the internet cloud somewhere, a love letter that he rejected, or refused to read. Half-finished posts, about tender moments, half-lived. I can almost believe now, they were imagined. slivers of paper, … Continue reading

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