If you only knew how many times I wanted to write to you. Sometimes it was because I could not stand living with him anymore and wanted you to take him off my hands again for the sake of his children. Every time I wanted to leave him I would think about writing you a letter, to tell you that I have taken my hands off him, surely you could take him back. I was always thinking with my heart, a heart that still loved him and wanted him to have what I did not, a family and children.

Today I am a little bit older and wiser, I know that perhaps it wasn’t about me or about you, it was about him. I understand that if my letters ever reached you perhaps you would have torn them and laughed at me. Because by the time I was ready to leave him, you have also moved on, and would have never taken him back. Now I am wearing the same shoes you wore over a decade ago. I hurt, and I know that you must have hurt too. I know that you loved him long after he stopped loving you, because it is happening to me. And I know that you were a fine woman, because I am not a bad one either.

Today I still have the urge to write you a letter. I want you to give me courage and tell me that things are going to be alright. I want to look at you today and think that in ten years’ time I will be where you are right now. Despite the damage he did to your soul and to your faith, you have made it. Your children were raised well, without their father, until the father they needed came along. I am sure you will feel vindicated when you find out that, in the meantime, your ex has gone through his second divorce, and left behind another wife and a child. In ten years time I want to step into your shoes again, when my child doesn’t want nor need his father anymore, when my ex proves himself as the loser he is; when he is no longer able to fool even his closest friends. This thought keeps me going, and makes me tolerate the pain.

With all respect.

Ex Wife No. 2