I am writing this while the wind is blowing on the Atlantic Seaboard, fireworks are cracking in the darkness and lighting up the sky with frequent colour bursts.
Our new flat is really nice, it has a view over the water all the way to the other side of Cape Town, along the Atlantic coast to Table View. It is great to watch the ships sail by from my side of the window while I work on the computer, or look up Signal Hill as I wash dishes. The only negative thing about the flat, and it is quite an important one is that it lies on the juncture of two of the busiest roads in Cape Town, the traffic simply never stops.
The afternoon was nice and sunny today, and I spent some time with two nice women, an old friend and probably a new one, the company garden was full of people of every colour and creed.
I had lots on my mind so I did not really watch the people. The animal life though attracted my attention: doves and pigeons, squirrels, and mice. We saw one really big rat, larger than a squirrel, it competed with the furry guys over crackers and nuts, and most likely it was the winner.
There is also a large Koi pond teeming with little fish, the parents quite big, one of my friends commented that they would make great Sushi.
We had scones and tea, not quite a posh affair at the public gardens, but still a treat. And as we were leaving there was a wedding procession visiting the garden for photos.
The afternoon was unfortunately too short, and tomorrow is another day at work.
The initial panic is over for me and for my black cat. We are sitting in the big new flat, surrounded by things, most of which have stories we know nothing about.
For my part, I will try to make peace with the past, where it came from does not concern me, as long as it does not suck me in its undertow, it is fine.
I am who I am, and being without baggage and without possessions is my choice, I adopted my partner’s possessions and I will enjoy them for what they are. Possessions will never claim me, but I can still appreciate them.
The cat is quite a different story, the cat has to learn its territory, and accept its limitations.
My husband also has to accept me and the cat. Contrary to what he believes, he is not the only one making compromises. I know that I would personally prefer a much simpler, barer existence.
If this is our new start, I would rather start on a fresh canvas, put in my own shades and colours.
The apartment I lived in before we came back together, might have looked to him like a dump. To me however it was a work in progress, an unfinished canvas. My time, and the emotional roller coaster I was riding on prevented me from completing it to my liking, but I was going to get there one way or another.
The canvas that I would have drawn would have included soft fabrics, knitted throws and crocheted cushions – things like that speak to me more than a leather sofa, rosewood furniture and fine china lamps; I have no use for those. I prefer scented candles and incense sticks.
I spoke to two of my friends today, they saw that my husband and I have two sets of conflicting values. The question is whether we can compromise between them or not.
Petey the cat has walked outside to the kitchen balcony today, sniffed around and stretched tippy toeing on his hind legs to peek over the balcony wall. He was quite funny, stretched tall there and supporting himself against the wall with one paw. I wish I had my phone camera handy.
Eventually, I will take him down to the garden and he will be happy. Ron still protests tells me it would make life more difficult – compromise ? where is his compromise?
Remains to be seen.