Seven Months: Moving Quickly

March 27, 2008March 25, 2013 ~ marobbie ~ 1 Comment

I forgot to take pictures for Robert’s seventh month birthday. A lot of stress is going on in our lives at the moment and that is why it is hard to keep track of simple pleasurable things. However, I am still very aware of the time we spend together and how we spend it. I try not to communicate my negative feelings to the little one, and I put on a happy face when I am around him. Robert does his magic to my act and after some minutes in his company I feel genuinely happy and so blessed. No matter what else happens, I have him to love for the rest of my life.

This month Robert has become mobile. He is crawling all around and covering a lot of ground with increasing speed. I took some pictures of him wearing a small baby jacket I crocheted for baby Olivia, who was finally born on the 26^th of March. One can tell that he is not overly impressed with wearing pink.

He is finally starting to utter da da da, and sometimes tha tha. I note, though, that he still has a marked preference for ma ma ma. Last week Ron had the late babysitting shift, and told me that the baby was whiny, complaining a lot, and calling ma ma ma. Obviously he had some stomach ailment characterized by frequent spit up and general indisposition. The food couldn’t have caused such a problem, and my only explanation is that he is now exposed to a wider variety of germs, tramping around on the floor, whether here in our flat or at Jackie’s place. Of course, the endless teething can still be the root of all trouble. I can feel the outline of the two little bottom incisors but they haven’t put in an appearance yet. It seems unlikely now that they will show up before the end of the month.

Another interesting development is Robert’s new-found ability to pull himself up to a standing position. This can happen anywhere but mostly in the cot. It follows that it is more difficult to keep him lying down when he doesn’t want to sleep. Because he pulls himself up to a standing position and continues to complain until somebody comes to the rescue. One morning I was waiting in vain for his cries to subside, and decided to check on him. I was surprised to find him holding on to the cot’s edge and complaining. It was the first time I saw this happen, so I burst out laughing at the funny pictures. Robert did not think it was funny at all, and started crying with bitterness and hurt feelings.

Miriam has gone AWOL. I think that she has finally found an office job, and frankly she is more than capable for a regular job, and overqualified as a nanny. Pity, because I really liked her and Robert did too. But I had a feeling throughout our acquaintance that she wasn’t really interested. I have to trust my instincts more, they are usually very accurate. Now I have some complex arrangement to look after Robert and they will probably work out for a few weeks in our new and evolving circumstances.

I am starting to take more pictures of Robert in the park. The nannies love him and often carry him and play with him. I am also starting to get more involved in our play together at the park. He enjoys being on the swing and crawling around on the grass.

Finally, here are some funny pictures of my little boy:

Standing in his crib and razzing with great concentration

A somewhat glum expression

Crawling into small spaces.

Reaching up for trouble.

Since he is capable of all this, I have removed the bassinet from the crib, and he now sleeps on the lowest level, and cannot possibly jump or lean out.

Thank God for Friends

March 18, 2008March 25, 2013 ~ marobbie ~ Leave a comment

I went with Jackie this morning to drop off Kirsten at the airport. The sun is just starting to rise over the Atlantic and it is going to be another gorgeous day on the southern tip of Africa. Last night I had a chance to go out with the girls for a little farewell dinner, and we all had a nice evening.

Robert’s adventures during Kirsten’s visit to Cape Town included his first time at a restaurant with mom. Kirsten invited me and Jackie to a Sushi lunch at Saul’s. It was a special occasion for me because I haven’t had sushi in over a year. Robert was mostly obliging but needed some attention midway through the meal, where I had to take a break and give him a feed. It was great that we decided to go out during lunchtime, the restaurant was not too busy and we could pass the baby around and entertain him between us, without much disturbance to the patrons.

During the past week I spent a lot of time with the girls either visiting at Jackie’s or at the park. Kirsten came over to dinner one day, and stuck around many times for feeding sessions, bath and bedtime, while I was home on my own. Her visit was a godsend for me; it helped me deal with the current stress of my life at the moment. I am still trying to get re-licensed for my load control work, and Ron is proving to be a reluctant child-care provider at home. Things are not going to get any easier for sure. I still haven’t heard from Miriam, and if I contemplate the emotional and financial cost of having a nanny it makes me sick, but that is the way things are going to be in the future. From the moment of conception, a baby is by and large a woman’s problem, and this is proving true in my case as well. But no matter how things turn out, having Robert in my life is worth it. He is the reason why I wake up every morning; he simply makes my life worth living.

Ron deals with problems differently. He has now a new constellation of friends, with whom he hangs out frequently. I am not needed in this arrangement, and I don’t think he wants me to ever meet his friends. It is his way of having his own life. He pointed out to me once that I should never try to pursue other interests while looking after Robert or breastfeeding him. “You have to understand that you have no life anymore, your life is the little boy”, he said. Of course, I knew that from the moment Robert was born. He is my life, and I am happy to have it that way. The way Ron said it, however, makes it sound like a prison sentence. At the moment I am trying to come to terms with this attitude, but our relationship has taken strain as a result. Caring for Robert is not a chore, and it makes me really angry when he views it as such. It is a privilege to be around and care for a healthy, happy, and intelligent child. It is wonderful to look into his innocent eyes and see the unconditional love and trust he bestows on us as his parents. I would give anything in the world to be able to care for him myself rather than hand him over to a nanny. In this respect, our priorities and attitudes – as they are over almost everything else- are vastly different.

I am glad that Robert is still blissfully ignorant of the stress. He is mostly happy and contented. If ever he is fussy, then it is because of his itching gum. I noticed also that putting him onto solids is giving him some constipation, and I bought him a natural laxative which the paediatrician recommended. On my next visit to the nurse I need to ask whether it is advisable to use it regularly.

Today’s funny pictures: I tried to catch him on camera in the middle of one of his razzing sessions, and the result is what you see here. It looks like the symphony of razzing requires a lot of concentration. This week also he is starting to make up babbling syllables. I am very excited that he has mastered: ma ma ma, and is starting on ba ba ba. We await the first incident of da da da any day now.

Difficulties

March 12, 2008March 25, 2013 ~ marobbie ~ Leave a comment

Miriam did not make it this weekend. She did not answer her phone, return calls or text messages. I was getting a little worried, so I phoned her husband, who told me in a muffled voice that she was in hospital with the little girl. I couldn’t understand anything else, so my active imagination went into over-drive. On Friday, and after many further unanswered calls, I received a message saying that she was in hospital looking after her daughter who has frequent nosebleeds. Of course her absence gave us a lot of problems, but I had worked myself into a worried frenzy, so when I finally heard from her I was relieved more than anything else.

Ron had to look after Robert for two days in a row, when I worked the long weekend shifts 14:00 to 23:00. I really do not like the long shifts anymore. The pressures of work and many other problems are taking their toll. I am trying hard not to transfer my feelings of stress to little Robert. He is getting less of me these days, so I have to make our time together count. The least disruptive shifts so far are the 08:00-12:00 ones. On these days I just wake up early and give Robert his breakfast. He stays awake while we have breakfast, and goes for his first nap shortly after I leave for work. I come home in time for his lunch and later we can take a stroll towards the ocean or to the park. Ron has to fill in for the bath and bedtime on the days when I work 16:15-20:15, and he doesn’t particularly like it. According to him, however, Robert enjoys their time together immensely. He bought him some new toys and clothes this week, and I can see how much he likes the new rattle toys.

These days he is starting to have some mobility, and when his rattle ball rolls he tries to follow it. The other day I put him in the middle of his play gym and went to fetch something from the kitchen. When I came back the play gym was empty, and the little one was on all fours underneath the table where I couldn’t see him from the door. I have to keep a watchful eye on him from now on. Soon he will start pulling things down or pulling himself up against coffee tables.

My friend Kirsten arrived from Germany on Tuesday; she is staying with Jackie. Robert has accompanied me on many visits with her, and whenever the weather cooperated we went for a stroll on the promenade or to the park. Kirsten manged to catch Robert in few interesting poses. For example his South African chilling mode: relaxing with feet up, and only the Castle Lager missing.

Kirsten brought with her some new presents for Robert: T-shirts, socks and a pyjama, all will be useful as the weather cools. Not to be outdone, Jackie chipped in and bought him a teething ring. It is the type that goes in the freezer or fridge and helps cool aching gums; Robert likes it. Mom bought a couple of summer things that he will use next summer at the beach.

Today’s funny picture: Robert crawling in the park. When I took the picture I did not see the comment that is showing right above his head, nor the wheel that he is dragging behind (the rattle ball).

Times Together and Times Apart

March 3, 2008March 25, 2013 ~ marobbie ~ Leave a comment

Robert’s mom is back to work part time as of today. It is strange to show up at the office again and try to be part of the team. During the months that I was away a lot changed and I have to work for the first few weeks together with a coach. Dad has passed a milestone today as well, looking after Robert for almost five hours. He did not have a great success in putting him down for his morning nap, but I did not have any better luck either. By six thirty poor Robert was so whipped he went to sleep immediately after the feed.

I think we made some progress –hopefully- in finding someone to look after Robert for the weekends, when I work the longer shifts. Miriam is a wonderful lady, and I hope she will prove to be a keeper. The only problem is that she cannot arrive earlier than nine in the morning and has to leave by six thirty in the evening at the latest. This means that the pressure will be still on Ron to take over for roughly four hours per day. Unfortunately, I will face the same problem whenever I hire any African lady, because they rely on public transport, so this cannot be helped unless I quit. The other option is to hire an au-pair, who commands a higher salary than mine, and then it doesn’t make sense at all.

Robert and I still go often to the park to enjoy the warm autumn weather. These days, he is happy to spend longer times there and interact somewhat with other moms and children. Today I had a nice visit with a few moms, and Robert charmed everyone with his giggles and smiles. I managed to get home after a couple of loud squeals and we did not get a full performance of his crying orchestra. I think he is a very happy and content baby, especially considering the little sleep he got today. If he is just a little bit cranky then it is because of his aching gums.

Over the weekend Ron and I went and bought a new supply of clothing for the little guy. He has finally outgrown the outfits I received as a present for his birth. We also bought him a set of huge plastic keys, designed as teething aids, and a small tube of teething gel. I think his first tooth will be making an appearance before the end of the month.

Another milestone for today was Robert’s first tablespoon of butternut pumpkin. Last week I cooked the pumpkin, pureed and froze it in an ice cube tray. Then I emptied the frozen portions in freezer bags. This morning I put one frozen cube in the fridge to defrost, and I later gave it to Robert as a lunch snack. He enjoyed immensely, perhaps because it was still cold and soothing to his gums. Butternut is very popular with babies because of its smooth texture and sweetness. Tomorrow I will give him a larger portion.

Mommy’s Separation Anxieties

February 25, 2008March 25, 2013 ~ marobbie ~ Leave a comment

It has been a busy week, and I have many things on my mind. I am still trying to find a nanny to look after Robert on the weekends when I am supposed to work for full 8-hour shifts. Initially I shrugged this problem off, Scarlett O’Hara-style, and thought I would deal with it later. It proved to be more complicated than I expected.

Agencies that provide domestic help cater only for regular working hours, and want to place people on full-time schedule, not what I need. An Au Pair, on the other hand, will claim more than my salary’s worth. I am also extremely paranoid about handing Robert over to somebody who posted on the notice board, and would prefer somebody who has known references. I am still putting the word out there, and starting to look at possible candidates.

Robert has made so much progress in the last weeks, he is now completely at ease in an upright sitting posture, and I have taken so many pictures to prove it. He can also lift himself up, when there are things around to hold on to. This first happened at the worst possible location; the changing table. He holds on to the side of the changing mat and looks down at me while I fill his bathtub. I no longer trust to be more than a foot away from the changing table.

The weather is starting to change slowly. Last Sunday at the park, Robert and I spent some of our time sitting basking in the warmth of the sun, where previously we sheltered from its blistering heat under the shady trees. For Robert, the park is much more fun than the promenade, because we can sit on and play on the grass in the park. He also meets a lot of little friends. For me it is my main contact with prospective nannies.

Last week we started introducing formula bottles to Robert. It was a struggle initially. He kept playing with the silicon nipple and chewing it, until he figured out that there is actually something to drink in there, but even then it took him some time to get to the taste. Formula milk looks much thicker and more substantial than breast milk, but he is starting to get the taste. Last week I spent almost half an hour trying to talk him into drinking 25ml, now Ron gives him a 100ml bottle in the morning, without much difficulty.

I feel a mixture of pride and sadness at my baby’s growing independence. Soon he will not need me as a source of sustenance, and it makes me a little bit sad. But this is one many lessons that I will definitely need to learn, and the first of many occasions where I will have to let go of my son, and be proud and happy about it.

It is very humbling, to look at my child and know that this little person is somebody I will love for the rest of my life, no matter how or what he turns out to be. He is my heart and my very soul, but he is a person in his own right, and I still need to prepare him for his own life, where my role will gradually diminish while my love remains the same. Bless you my mother for giving me the gift of unconditional love. I only started appreciating it when I looked into the eyes of my newborn son.

Being a mother is a very emotional experience, but I am in good company. Don Mills Diva has a lot to say about the ultimate transformation in a mother’s life, becoming a mother-in-law. And I thought I was the only mother who fretted prematurely about the day my baby will bring along his girlfriend.

Sitting Pretty

February 18, 2008March 24, 2013 ~ marobbie ~ Leave a comment

Robert is now finding it easier to sit for a longer time unassisted. A week ago, it took his full concentration to keep himself balanced, now he is starting to play and grab for stuff from this sitting position. I still need to be around him to catch support him if he flops over unexpectedly, though.

While on his stomach he sometimes pushes up on his knees and arches his back, and then starts rocking his little butt forward and back as if warming up for a leap. A friend told me that this is a clear indication that a little one is warming up his engine and getting ready to go. It won’t be long before he crawls.

Last week we had one extremely hot day, followed by a muggy and cloudy day, then a rainy and cold day. It seems that we are already changing over to autumn weather, but none of us really mind that. Anything is better than the extreme heat.

On Saturday Robert was invited to his friend Demi’s first birthday. We got there a little late because I did not want to wake him up from his nap, but he still had a good chance to play and socialize with some young friends, and a few pretty girls too. My friend Britt organized the party at a kid’s venue, which has the correct toys and activity areas. The hire of the venue includes the use of all crockery, cutlery and the service of the cleaning staff. All one needs is the guests and some food. This is a brilliant idea, because it means that mom and dad get to enjoy the party without worrying about the cleanup afterwards.

Robert was one of the youngest babies at the party, this made his participation a little passive, but he did enjoy some new activities:

For example riding on a yellow snail

Hanging out with auntie Britt.

Pretending to be busy when the guys try to make conversation.

Getting all the attention of a pretty girl.

and chilling in the ball pond

Little Demi was born last year on Valentine’s Day, and she is now a perfect little personality, walking, playing, communicating and munching on popcorn ! They do grow very quickly. It will be still some time before my little one eats popcorn but he is enjoying his rice cereal, and I now give him a daily midday meal of three heaped table spoons.

I am still worried about how we will manage when I go back to work, and I definitely need to come up with solutions for the weekends when I work for the full eight-hour shifts. Ron now realizes that entertaining Robert is not so easy. He is becoming more active, more vocal and more demanding every week. He can also get very tiresome and irritable when he misses his nap time, which happens more often than not. He is also still drooling profusely, and rubbing his gums violently, which makes me think again of teething.