Category: Parenting

A Whale of a Time

~ marobbie ~ Leave a comment

On our walk today on the promenade we enjoyed watching some black whales frolicking along the coast. Their arrival at the Cape coast usually heralds the beginning of warm spring. This year though, the season has been very fickle, with the sunny spells still infrequent. Today was one of those rare sunny mornings. Robert was in the carrier protected from the cool air and the sun; he was asleep as usual. In an attempt to prevent him from sinking too low into the pouch we sat him on top of a folded towel to prop him up. This sat him up more, and he was leaning against the side of the carrier with nose and mouth well exposed to the air. It also helped us walk for a longer time without worry.

Robert had a long sleep after his one o’clock feeding, and during this time I received a call from a member of my work’s management team. She said she had a present for Robert from everyone at the office, which she will drop off. I also spoke to my parents on Skype and gave them some details and updates on the delivery and Robert’s progress.

Robert was still in his best angelic position -asleep- when my work colleague arrived with a bag full of presents and card of good wishes from everyone at my office. The bag contained half a dozen outfits for Robert, mostly suited for spring and summer weather. The theme of the clothes is little red and green monsters, with the caption : “I’m a little monster” printed on them. As I watched over my little one asleep there in the crib, he looked very little like a little monster, and more like a sleeping kitten. My colleague thought he was very cute, although she said that waking up twice in the middle of the night was too much. Young as she is -early twenties- she must think that having a baby is rather uncool.She will come around, eventually. I never was a maternal type myself, but now that I have little Robert, I think that no woman should voluntarily miss out on the experience of motherhood.

Back at Birth Weight

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I slept until nine this morning, after a rough night with Robert. This meant that I had to start feeding immediately then rush him into the bath, because we had to take him for his second assessment at the Well Baby Clinic.

All this rushing did not help much because we had a long queue in front of us at the clinic. There were many babies and kids of different ages, most were really large and chubby. Robert looked so tiny in comparison. The nurse’s room was crowded and noisy, and I got nervous of the long wait. That is why I immediately started getting Robert ready for weighing and measuring, while sister B was still busy with the patient ahead of us in the queue, and I made the mistake of prematurely taking off his nappy. This, inevitably, resulted in an accident, for which I was ill prepared. My nappy bag contained a spare nappy and an undershirt, but not a complete change of clothing. Fortunately his outer clothes were only a little bit wet.

Sister B did her quick check-up. She said that the navel was healing fine, and pronounced the acne on baby’s face as normal. She also gave me some advice on dealing with gas, and recommended colic drops. Robert’s weight gain was still on the slow side for the second week running; 160g this past week, which means that as of today he has only regained his birth weight. The nurse advised me to make sure that he was getting enough in every feeding, by draining one breast, then switching to the second near the end of the feed, so that baby gets both breasts in every feeding.

It was good to know that baby was okay. Even the discharge from his eye, which is a result of a blocked tear duct has cleared up by itself. His weight gain was within the lower range of what is considered normal, but I was still worried about the quality of my milk and my ability to continue breastfeeding. Ron jokingly suggested that we might need to put Robert on the bottle, but I did not find it funny. From today I started tracking baby’s daily feeds to make sure he gets enough feeding sessions. Tonight we woke up twice for feeding; it was very cold, and the south easter was howling.

Robert the South African

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At two weeks we are starting to have some good times with Robert. We had breakfast before he woke up, and after he fed we took him shopping in the baby carrier. He was asleep the whole time.
Ron went to gym while I had a quiet time doing more paperwork, and catching up on blog and email. Robert’s birth certificate arrived in the mail today; it is the standard (free) birth certificate, which does not contain much information. It only shows ID number, date of birth and name(s). The full birth certificate which contains the names of the parents takes longer to issue – about six weeks we were told- and this is the one that Robert needs in order to register as a Canadian citizen at the embassy.

We had a special dinner tonight of the lamb chops we bought at the store today, and jasmine rice. The routine of feeding every three hours or so was maintained at night. I normally change baby’s diaper at every night feeding to avoid accidents; this is absolutely non-negotiable in this cold weather. On two occasions I forgot these nightly changes, and both times Robert got himself soaking wet afterwards. While changing his diaper early this morning I noticed that his cord stump has fallen off.

Our First Walk as a Family

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Yesterday night was exhausting, and today was dedicated to catching catnaps whenever baby rested.

In the morning we dunked Robert in the bath as it was a warm day, later we went to soak up a little bit of sunshine walking on the promenade. I still need to get used to the carrier, and both Ron and I are a little paranoid about baby smothering himself in my shirt. The moment he is put in the carrier and I start walking, he goes to sleep face down, with his nose and mouth out of sight. It is impossible to tell whether he is breathing or not, and therefore we made frequent stops to adjust his position. It is a wonder that he kept on sleeping through that.

Fortunately, tonight was much better than last night. We had a vegetarian dinner, and managed to get some good sleep.

Rough Times Thrown Into the Mix

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After a couple of peaceful days with Robert, today turned out to be a mixed bag of some good time, and a lot of rough times.
First bad thing I noted was that his left eye had worsened. I had to clean it with salt water at every nappy change, but the lids were still glued shut with sticky yellow discharge.

The only good time of the day was taking Robert out in the baby carrier for the first time. We decided to take the chance and inaugurate it, because the weather wasn’t too cold, and the sun was peeking through the clouds. As it was our first trial run with the carrier (or pouch) we took a short circular route around our block, but we still had to stop every few minutes to check on baby’s position, and whether he was okay and still breathing. I don’t think either of us got much out of the walk. Robert, for his part was fast asleep, and was not bothered by our frequent poking and pushing.

By evening the day took a definite turn for the worse. Robert started fussing, and when he finally went to sleep it did not look like it would last very long. I had to eat my dinner in a hurry, to avoid a very likely interruption. My discomfort at gulping such a good meal (oriental chicken with jasmine rice) was compounded by Ron’s talk about loosing my pregnancy weight. The crowning of my day though came when Robert started crying before I even managed to take my empty dish back to the kitchen. This signaled the beginning of a long night shift. Robert had awful cramps and gas, and I spent a miserable night trying to comfort him. I ended up sleeping on the sofa next to him, trying to stay warm under a thin blanket. Of course I did not get much sleep, I only nodded off a few times. Robert and I finally got to bed at 04:00 in the morning.

First Weight Assessment

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Today we wanted to take Robert for his first weight assessment at the Well Baby Clinic. Sister B is available for walk-in consultations on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, whereas on Tuesdays and Thursdays she is only there by appointment.

Robert woke up this morning with a wet nappy which completely soaked his clothes, so we used the opportunity to give him a bath. This time everyone –including Robert- had better control over the situation. Ron had the idea of using a wet flannel to cover baby in the bath, and that helped keep him warm in our chilly bathroom. Robert did not complain about bathing at all after that.

When Robert had his feeding we headed straight to the clinic. This was our first ride in the car with him since coming back from hospital, and Ron had to revisit his strategy for buckling and unbuckling the car-seat. He got the procedure figured out after a couple of practice runs, and I do not think he will have to wrestle with an anaconda seatbelt again. Unlike our trip from the hospital last week, it was overcast and rainy today, but I still took the backseat next to Robert. I needn’t have worried because he slept as soon as the car started moving, and was still asleep when we carried him in his chair into the clinic.

It was amazing to see all the little babies with their moms and dads. Our little one was by far the youngest and the most fragile-looking. The five and six-week olds looked huge in comparison.

He weighed in at 3.24 kg, which is still less than his birth weight. According to the nurse his weight gain of 140 grams is on the slow side since breastfed babies are expected to gain between 150 to 250 grams per week. I explained to her the mishap I had with feeding earlier, and she said that this could have affected his weight. I showed her his left eye where the yellowish discharge was getting worse. His eyelids were glued shut because of it. She advised regular washing with sterile cotton dipped in salt water. She also recommended some ointment for sore breasts, which I planned to get then forgot with the confusion that accompanied our departure from the clinic.
Ron and I did not have the moves quite right; I got on his nerves with my usual slow and deliberate dressing and undressing of baby, which in turn made me fumble even more. I don’t think anyone else noticed, and if they did they would have just put it down to the obvious lack in experience. Sister B. advised that we should come in next week for another weight assessment to check again on Robert’s progress.

Robert’s little outing did not alter his good mood, and he kept on his feeding and napping schedule, which gave me another chance to go for a walk on the promenade on this cloudy afternoon. He was also sleeping in time for supper, so Ron and I could enjoy our nice steaks and then tea and cake. We are so lucky to have such a good baby.

More Presents for Robert

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After a small respite of warm weather on Sunday, the weather man predicts another cold front on the way. The forecast until Saturday is bad, and there is still no spring in sight.I got an SMS from my friend Jackie around noon today. Robert was asleep at the time, so it was one of these rare occasions when I could come near my phone. Ron was at the gym, and I was catching up on my emails and blog. Jackie wanted to know whether she can come for a quick visit and I told her that this was a good time. We had a good chat over tea; I showed her the pictures of Robert from the hospital, and she told me about her new job which she was due to start on the 17th of this month. It was a good opportunity to catch up on news and gossip, as we haven’t engaged in our girls-only chats for a long time. Jackie also brought Robert some presents from her mother, nice rompers for summer, and his first noisy truck, which I suspect will become an annoying background noise sometime in the future.

One of my milestones for today was going to the Supermarket for the first time since I had Robert. Armed with my cell phone, I left the apartment during his nap, and went straight to the shop, zipping quickly through the aisles, to return exactly half an hour later. In addition to the regular staple foods, I managed to buy steaks for dinner and some sweets- a couple of chocolate coated oatmeal bars, and a small carrot cake.

Back at home I had a shower and removed the plaster tape around my incision. The incision was healing nicely on the outside edges, and the skin has knitted together well. However, the middle had shallow flaps, little open flaps in between the stitches. I was not impressed, because it seemed that I will be left with a tiny ridge of skin around the area. Ron commented that Dr. P. will definitely not qualify as a plastic surgeon. My belly was shrinking slowly but I still had to get used to its new shape; now I had an additional fold of fat right above the incision, as if the skin was stretched over a garden hose I wore around my hips. It is a small price though to pay for my little bundle of joy.

Robert was easy to work around today because he settled into a regular schedule of three-hour naps in between feedings of one hour each. He is slowly turning into a greedy feeder, and I am still dealing with the consequences of his hearty appetite on my sore breasts. However, it is a relief that he is over his hunger cry fits. He also went to bed promptly at dinner time, giving us the chance to have a peaceful dinner and enjoy tea afterward with carrot cake.

One Week

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It has been a week already, and we are now beginning to get used to our little boss. He passed the stage of being an angel and a miracle, and now I realise he is a small infant with enormous demands; a handful.

Yesterday (Sunday) he started marathon feeding sessions that lasted up to 2 hours each, and I had very little time to do anything else. Thanks to Ron, though, I still got a chance for my first solo walk on the promenade. It was a warm afternoon and I timed the walk carefully to last 30 minutes, which means 15 minutes of brisk walking then heading straight back. All of the time I was anxiously watching my cell phone and expecting a call or an SMS from Ron who stayed at home to watch the sleeping Robert. In the evening it was more of the same: non-stop feeding and only five hours of sleep, and of course I ended up being very sore indeed.

The main dilemma for today was on which side to feed Robert; I mean, which breast is less painful. I had a sample of nipple cream in the goody bag from the hospital, and I used it liberally after every feeding. I also tried to talk Robert out of pulling, gumming or useless suckling and convince him of proper latching and sucking instead, this of course was easier said than done.

Ron fared a little better; he went on a hike towards Lion’s Head, and came back fresh and energetic, to cook us some soup. I had the baby hanging at my breast the whole time. When he was not feeding we tried to keep him entertained. Today he sat in his car seat with us on the veranda, and listened to the noise of the traffic, which should be familiar to him by now.

I was very exhausted by the end of the day, and luckily Robert gave me a little bit of a break, his hunger cries were less frequent during the night, waking up every three hours, so I managed to accumulate six hours of sleep in between feedings.

Cold but Happy Spring Day

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I think Robert and I are beginning to work out the kinks in this breastfeeding saga. Every time we changed his diaper today there was a mighty big package, and he is a much happier baby. He is also latching at the breast correctly with much less fussing and moaning, I am starting to feel a little more confident about this.
Today is a spring day in South Africa , but there is no sign of the season yet in Cape Town . It is raining and cold, and I am still wearing my sweater, fluffy slippers and fluffy socks around the house. The feeding at night is complicated because I have to put on many layers of clothes before I answer Robert’s calls.
At midday we decided that it was time to give Robert his first bath. There was nothing against it since his weenie is now fully healed. His umbilical stump hasn’t fallen off yet, but according to the modern literature we read, there is no harm in bathing baby with the stump still intact. The bathtub I got from my friend Britt makes bathing the baby a little less intimidating, as it has support for the body and the neck. The baby sits in a kind of reclining chair, formed around his body, so there is little danger of slipping under the water. Still, it was somewhat of a challenge for both of us, and Ron got a little impatient with my slowness. “You have to work quickly with the baby” he always says. My rationale is that if I work slowly there is less chance of mistakes or accidents. Well, two people can have different approaches even when they are a married couple. In the end we did not break baby, and the bath was completed. However, it was too close to call whether it was baby or his parents who found the episode more unnerving.
This morning Ron and I also took turns waiting in a telephone queue. Yes, we had an unresolved query with our ISP, and had to contend with listening to their recorded message: “We are experiencing a high volume of phone calls, please hold. Your call is important to us”. It carried on endlessly, and unfortunately every time we got through to a “human being” on the other end of the line, we were transferred somewhere else, and we had to repeat the whole story all over again. In the end Ron managed to resolve the issue. Apart from waiting on endless phone queues, there was the added stress, because Ron had to reconfigure the internet access on the hardware and software side. He wore his IT guru hat for a few minutes and got it all done without difficulty, but before that he had to behave like an IT guru for a while and get us all very nervous and apprehensive of the gargantuan task.
In the afternoon I got a phone call and a greeting from my friend Britt. She was on her way to the Cape Winelands with her husband and the two little girls. I had a vision of them in the big car, with baby car seats and bags bulging with diapers, formula, and everything else. I thought to myself it will be a while before we have the nerve to venture anywhere outside the city. Heck, at the moment I still had to find it in me to venture outside the house.
As it happened, today was the day when I actually did venture outside the door for a few minutes. In the evening I went to the 7/11 at the bottom of our street and bought the Saturday Paper. At about six in the evening I had just put baby to bed and Ron was preparing dinner. I am starting to learn now that I have to move quickly when baby is resting, because their time of shut-eye is the one small window of opportunity for me to sleep, eat, shower, or escape. I put on my raincoat, which I could easily zip around my waist this time- and went into the wet and darkening evening breathing my freedom for the first time. I skipped down the steps unburdened by a pregnant belly, and bounced down the hill. Ron and I rarely buy the Saturday Argus because it is big and bulky and has three huge sections of property ads, which we have no use for. Today however we had to buy it because it has Robert’s birth announcement. It was one of the free services offered by Cape Town Medi-Clinic which we took advantage of.
My outing lasted for only ten minutes, and I was back at home after that. The walk up the hill was a little laboured, I would have thought that I would be able to run up the hill as soon as I gave birth, but it looks like I have to give myself more time to recover and get fit. Ron and I had our first quiet dinner together. It was a delicious chicken curry with spinach, coconut rice, and carrot salad with ginger and sweet chilli sauce. We enjoyed every bite. If baby is going to carry on this pattern, then we are very lucky. He is a very good baby.
Pocahontas was the early Saturday night movie and for once we were both interested enough to watch. I always thought Disney movies were great fun, but Ron usually has hardly any patience for kiddies stuff. I cannot help but think that having a little baby in the house is already changing our personalities. I had to smile when Ron said that Disney movies were educational. The tiny fingers of baby Robert are casting their spell on our hearts.

Cracking The Feeding Code (How NOT to feed)

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No, I don’t feel that great today. Robert was very cranky the whole night, and Ron and I took turns rocking him. In the end Ron headed for a much needed sleep while I continued with rhythmic rocking and singing meaningless and monotone lullabies. My face today shows the strain of sleeplessness, and my incision aches and pulls whenever I move up from a sitting or lying position. I had to resort to one of the pain suppositories.

Things improved a little in the morning, but we still had to give the bloated little one several doses of gripe water. He always calmed down considerably after taking them.
My swollen and engorged breasts continued to hurt, although I diligently breastfed Robert. I kept wearing a “scrunchy” hair band on my wrist to indicate which side I was supposed to breastfeed from next, otherwise I would not be able to tell, both were sore and swollen.

By midday, and after a late breakfast and strong coffee, Ron and I got somewhat more comfortable, less zombie and more jet-lagged, as it were. We started organizing the endless paperwork from the hospital. We opened a paper file for Robert, containing all his birth paraphernalia, and his initial medical records. There were doctor’s appointments to be made, and hospital accounts to be paid (the ones that are not settled by medical aid). It took over an hour to sort things out, and we now have a list on the fridge showing us the important health visits for the next month.

The day was cold, not a sign of spring, and according to the long-range forecast there will be a couple of cold fronts during the next week which is supposed to mark the beginning of spring here in South Africa.

Evening came, and it was turning out to be a heavy one. I gulped the dinner Ron prepared, and started the duty of trying to feed, change, burp, and rock. Eventually the crying got too much out of hand with Robert pulling his knees up towards his stomach, and all other measures of massaging and soothing failed, so we resorted to another dose of gripe water. Ron and I alternated this duty between us for a few hours, then we agreed that Ron should go to bed, because there was no point in both of us driving ourselves crazy with an inconsolable infant.

Throughout the night, I got even less success with feeding Robert; He got more and more agitated every time he tried to suck on an engorged breast. My instinct told me that something was clearly wrong, and on impulse I moved from the reclining comfortable chair to another straight-backed and less comfortable one. My position was different and I tried leaning forward towards the baby while feeding him. He gulped a few times then started sucking rhythmically. An hour later Ron came in intrigued by the silence in the lounge and saw me sitting there, wild-eyed and tired but calm. The rest of the night was exhausting. Robert nursed so hard and so long that I was terribly sore by morning, but he slept for a couple of hours at a time. His nappies started to get full, which was not the case for the last 36 hours. As it turned out the poor little one was not getting enough milk since we came home, I swore never to sit again on the comfortable chair by the bay window, and hoped that I haven’t done permanent damage to my milk supply or to Robert’s appetite and health.