Category: Parenting

Another Needle

~ marobbie ~ Leave a comment

The South-Easter is blowing and there is a chill in the air, later in the day it also started to rain. Since there is nothing better to do, it is best to get another injection over and done with.

On accounts of the weather the clinic was very quiet, and we were the only ones in line. Nurse B took Robert’s measurements and when it was time Robert took the needle with minimum fuss. As he quietened down to his feed, my consultation with nurse B slowly warmed into a motherly chat. We talked of the joys of motherhood, and how precious the little ones are. The nurse spoke of her two boys (aged ten and six) and about the upcoming family holiday to the Kalahari, they will be driving there to camp. On the way there, they will also stop for some fishing, which her husband enjoys.

The nurse said that she took her own child camping at three months. It does sound tempting; I suppose when a baby is breastfed there is very little to worry about. The only things to haul would be the nappies and changes of clothing. And if the holiday takes us to a warm enough place, then washing can be done on location, and the little clothes would dry anywhere. Ron is an experienced camper, but I am still a novice. Adapting to life on the move, and functioning in small quarters is not a natural skill for me yet. We did have a great time camping though, and summer is just starting, so maybe we can still go on a little trip and surprise ourselves.

Robert’s measurements today: Weight 5900g; Height 62cm; Head circumference 39.2cm.

He is now slightly above the 50th percentile in terms of weight (getting fat as Nurse B jokingly said), and his height is clearly above average.

Our next injection should be in four weeks’ time, but nurse B will be on holiday then until the second week of January. I pencilled in the dates for the earliest and the latest dates where this immunization dose can be taken. Ron and I prefer to continue seeing nurse B rather than her replacement. Robert is used to her by now, and she does have a very gentle and loving touch with babies.

Robert did not have major adverse reactions to the injection. I gave him a course of fever drops every four hours, and before he went to bed. I think he will be a hundred percent by tomorrow.

Twelve Weeks: Quiet Times

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I am still working to solve the riddle of a breastfeeding-working mother. Operating the manual breast pump turned out to be a no-brainer. I certainly don’t need to invest in an expensive electrical one. This, however, remains only one small part of the whole puzzle, as Ron correctly pointed out. I still haven’t figured out how to store breast milk and how to manage pumping at work. For once I tackled the problem by going directly to the source and asking for what I thought best, without second guessing what management might or might not approve. I wrote work and asked for two month of unpaid leave after the official end of my maternity leave.

The email went out to my supervisors last week, where I stated my request and suggested a meeting to discuss my situation. The week passed without any response and I had to call today for a fellow up, and my supervisor scheduled a meeting for Wednesday the 28th. I don’t have a feel for what their response might be.

Robert’s latest developments: Bringing his hands together, and folding his thumb between his fore- and middle fingers. In terms of appearance: More fuzz is sprouting on his head, and his eyebrows are starting to get some definition. They are still very fair, but I think they will be the thick variety inherited from mom.

We got into the habit of taking him into the kitchen during dinner preparation. He sits quietly and watches us, listens to the noises of pots, pans and clinking cutlery. We introduce him to the various smells of cooking and spices. He is unfazed by the strong smells of onion and garlic. In fact, I think he likes them. His responses to the different fragrances are interesting, and being our son, he must be used to the smells of curry and ginger, and the taste of them from breast milk. As he gets older and less fussy, I am less stringent now about my diet. I have stopped worrying about eating cauliflower, but I am still keeping away from cabbage. My mom warned me against green peppers, which I have avoided during the worst colic periods. Now I do eat it in salads, and it doesn’t cause problems to either me or Robert. In all it looks like things are settling down, and all three of us are starting to enjoy longer sleeps at night.

Eleven Weeks: Christmas Comes Early

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We are only a couple of weeks away from the magic number… three months. Many things are promised then: The end of colic, better head control and hands moving to their target quicker. We are definitely seeing some improvement in these areas, and our hands can now find our mouth after only a few tries.

Ron and I take it for granted that little Robert will be right-handed; it is interesting to note though, that so far he still favours his LEFT fist for the comfort of sucking.

We now have a fixed evening schedule leading to bed time. I start to calm Robert down from around six, then depending on his general state, I either feed him while watching the afternoon soap, or in front of the computer while reading my mail. A little bit of rest after feeding and then he gets dunked in the bath after seven, where he winds down and tires himself out. Finally he will nod off to sleep as I give him a little night cap. Once or twice so far he was calm enough to fall asleep by himself but these are still isolated incidents, and I don’t think they are part of the routine, not yet anyway. Night feedings are now down to only one, after which he promptly falls back to sleep. In short, the nights have become routine, but the days are still far from sorted.

Robert’s quick growth is a constant reminder of the passage of time. In a few weeks’ time I should be back at work, and I still can’t figure out how to solve the problem of breastfeeding. I do enjoy this special bond I have with my son, and I consider my ability to give him nourishment and help him grow, not a mere duty, but a privilege. If it was up to me, I would continue to breastfeed exclusively for the recommended six months, I would try pumping, working less hours, anything. But the best case scenario of course, is to stay at home for two more months. I am not sure that my management at work would go for it though.

Ron is not keen on the idea of using a breast pump, he thinks it is too much of a hassle, and does not trust me to have the dedication required for the cleaning and sterilizing routines. The complications increase exponentially when we start thinking about the procedures for storing and freezing breast milk. My sister-in-law, who is a strong believer in nursing, surprisingly vouched for formula. She had to start using formula early for her youngest son, and it turned out well. Her testimony convinced Ron, but not me. I would love to continue breastfeeding exclusively for six months.

To explore the possibility of using a breast pump, I tried to speak to women who had previously used one. Ron’s advice was to look at “For Sale” ads on the internet for breast pumps in the last few months. I only managed to get hold of one mother, who was of little help since she only used the breast pump once. I was left with my usual weapon of last resort: Ask Britt, and as it turned out she was forthcoming, and then some.

She came in on Saturday with her older girl, carrying bagfuls of stuff. There was a play-gym, baby soaps, bubble bath, and a small headrest for little Robert, in addition to a special baby chair ‘bumbo’ which is made of soft plastic and designed to mould around baby’s bum, back and upper thighs. It was one of the products on our to-buy list for Robert. Britt also brought along a manual breast pump for me to try, and answered all my questions about its use.

On Saturday, Robert opened another generous present, this one from Auntie Carla in Canada. The package contained colourful musical mobile, educational books, a shirt, a baby bathing suit, and a soft sleeping bag. I think Ron and I were as excited as Robert about the beautiful things ( possibly even more about some of them). It took us some time to figure out how to attach the mobile to Robert’s crib. When we finally mounted it there he was captivated, and we could tell that it is going to be his favourite.

He wakes up in the morning to look at it, and then starts talking and cooing to the animals hanging overhead, it is quite funny to watch.

Worse than an Injection

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On this cold and cloudy day, we took Robert for another vaccination. I knew that it was going to be oral drops rather than an injection, and I thought this would be another dose of a Polio vaccine.

The Well Baby Clinic was quiet today, and nurse B remarked that she usually only vaccination cases show up on cold days like this one. This time there was a little girl who was in for her second dose of the hexa-injection. I remembered her from a few weeks back when she showed up with both her mom and dad. She was then a very small newborn, due to the fact that she was five weeks premature.
Today Robert weighed in at 5460 g, and measured 60.5cm in height which is a great improvement from last month, and leads me to hope again that he will take after his dad’s family when it comes to height. His head circumference measured 38.5cm. Nurse B then gave the oral drops in a prepacked syringe. Strangely enough, infants usually find it very difficult to swallow any liquid injected into their mouths, as they only know how to suck/suckle. Robert got the hang of it after a little bit, and only a few drops of the liquid were spat out. The nurse warned me that the side effects for this vaccine were stomach cramps, gas, and irritability.
Once home though Robert also became very lethargic and slept most of the time. He seemed to have very little energy and was hardly able to pick up his weight when held upright. This worried me somewhat especially because I was under the assumption that he’d had polio drops. Later in the evening he had bad gas, some cramps and was generally indisposed. We also went through three shirt changes, one of them during the night. Robert would normally spit up (or burp up) some milk after each feeding. This time, however, he vomited up quite a lot, and ended up soiling his outfits and my shirts several times.
Robert’s general condition improved slowly, and he was completely over these symptoms two days later. But I was so worried about this nasty vaccination that I looked up its trade name on the internet, and only then I found out that it wasn’t polio drops, but immunization against the Rotavirus, which causes a particularly vicious diarrhoea. The malady itself lasts also for a few days, and is dangerous to little babies under the age of two years, because it drains and dehydrates them. I could not help thinking though that the vaccination must be nearly as bad as the illness. It surely is much worse than the injection we had two weeks ago.

The Past and the Future

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On Saturday, dad got to ‘wear’ Robert in the carrier. Today it was my turn again, as we took him to the V&A Waterfront. This outing is our favourite because it is very close to our flat, and it takes 10 minutes to get there. It is about the only outing that we can decide to go on spontaneously and without too much planning.

The tourist season is definetely underway, becasue the mall and our usual parking lot were full even on this Tuesday. Of course, the sunny weather also helps, and there were as many tourists enjoying it outside as shoppers inside. Ron and I preferred to walk our usual circuit around the water. Ron was the cameraman this time, while I was the reluctant model. It is funny that whoever has the camera displays much more enthusiams for photos, while the other feels them unnecessary. This time, it was my turn to say: “Enough of these silly photographing”.
But before I finally said that, Robert and I had our pictures taken in front of the Victoria and Alfter Hotel, then next to a trimaran that sailed around the world in record time; and also in front of the seal guarding the entrance of the Table Bay Hotel. One photo had to be reserved to Nelson Mandela and the rest of the Noble Laureates ( FW De Clerk, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Albert Lithuli). I was posing for Ron’s photo, while a German tourist was also aiming his camera in the same direction. I asked the gentleman whether I should move, but he had already taken his photo. He said: “No problem. You and the baby are already in the photo; It is nicer this way: The past -and he pointed at the statues- and the future”. I thought it was a very nice thing to say.

Ten Weeks: Introducing the Extremeties

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We managed to get out this weekend again. This time we moved away from the touristy areas towards Rondebosch, which is a central district of Cape Town, and very popular with the younger crowd due to its proximity to the University of Cape Town (UCT). The main destination for our visit was a location for a book exchange in Rondebosch Mall. This part of the outing was a huge disappointment, so the less said about it the better. The only benefit was unloading some of my trashy airport literature, which I managed to accumulate over the years, but I still cannot bring myself to part with before reading first. In the exchange basket I also left the book I was reading at the hospital and during Robert’s first week. It is a very old book :”The Beautiful is Vanished” by Taylor Caldwell. The subject matter was depressing, as it is about a father losing his only son in the First World War. Later in the book the stricken father remarries and has another child, but the open ending of the story leaves us to anticipate that this child will be faced with the next war. I think I cried several times while I was reading that book, because all of a sudden I could completely relate to the emotional turmoil of the bereaved father. I hope and pray that I will never have to dissuade my own child from participating in a war. But I digress; the mission of unloading my books was accomplished in roughly thirty seconds, after which we were left with an unplanned chunk of time, so we chose to walk around a bit in the leafy streets of Rondebosch.

We took one of the pathways around the Baxter Theatre, and ended up somewhere within the UCT campus. Some of the walkways we trampled are over a century old, and there are many interesting historical pointers along the way. We also inspected the cricket field, where I saw real wickets and stumps for the first time. Cricket is not a known sport where I grew up, but it will probably be a sport that my son will play in the future.
Sunday was another cold day, so we stayed put at home, and Robert got to wear his warm sweater again, while he snoozed away in his seat. The big event for him this week is starting to discover his hands, and to grasp things. Up until now, if we closed his hand over a piece of cloth or a toy he would hold on to it, and sometimes for a very long time, but without really being aware of this. Grasping was more of a reflex than a willful act, but this is gradually changing.

His hands are starting to reach out towards things, but mostly he is doing lots of exploring to his own face. After several trial and error attempts where he swats at his own eye or nose, his fingers finally find his oral cavity and start exploring inside it. Sometimes he is so rough he brings himself to gag, but the rest of the time he just puts his fist, and his fingers there, and slobbers all over. His interest in his surrounding is increasing by the day; a week ago I suspended a pom pom, a crocheted circle and a ball made of tinfoil while he sat in his car seat, the idea was to encourage him to swat at these objects and develop his small motor coordination. These objects remained mostly unnoticed, but now he started to look at them, and observe them swinging back and forth, when he rocks his chair. Inadvertently, he swiped at them a few times, but he has yet to reach out for them.

Another first for this week was when Robert went to sleep on his own. It was one of those days when his bedtime came while he was still wide awake, and since he was clean and no longer interested in feeding, I thought it was fair to leave him be in his cot, while I got my own dinner. Surprisingly, he lay back in his cot, very relaxed and spoke to the colourful animals hanging above his head. There was minimal fussing and soon he drifted to la la land. Both Ron and I hoped that this will be the shape of things to come.

Also, the incidents of stomach cramps, and gas have become relatively rare, which in turn means general relief from the crying fits that went along with it. This development comes as Robert’s digestive system becomes more efficient. Some of the notable pointers in this area are: less frequent trips to the changing table as bowel movements become less frequent (but more substantial), and less time spent winding or burping. In the first few weeks of his life, it used to take me up to ten minutes to get a single bubble out, but now I get a huge satisfying belch in a few seconds.

According to what I read, the third month in a baby’s life brings the most exciting changes. Ron and I are beginning to see these changes and watch out for new ones, because every single day Robert shows us something new.

Nine Weeks: Fuzz and Freckles

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Last weekend was quite a busy one for all of us. On Saturday we went on that long tour of the churches and bookshops of Main Road, and on Sunday Ron had a movie shoot. Robert and I finished our breakfast rituals early, and since it was nice and sunny outside I decided to head out as well, and take advantage of the quiet early hours on Sunday. My initial plans were to walk on the promenade for a while and get the Sunday paper on my way back. But halfway towards the promenade I thought to phone my friend Jackie and see what she was doing, I haven’t heard from her for a while. Jackie was having breakfast with her boyfriend in one of the posh hotels on Beach Road, and she said she would phone me when she arrived home so we can have a short visit. My little walk lengthened into an expedition, that included window shopping, a stop at the deli for bagels, and a visit to Jackie and her houseful of friends. Jackie gave me some more clothes she bought for Robert, which I also added to my booty for the day. Robert and I headed back after a short time, but we were both reaching our physical and sensory limits by the time we made it home.

Jackie had last seen Robert when he was a newborn, and she commented on how big he was getting. She was concerned that the 0-3 months clothes she bought for him would not longer fit. And in addition to the developments I noted for his two months birthday, Robert’s appearance is also changing, his head is now covered with the soft fuzz of what is likely to become very light brown or dark blond hair. Ron hopes he will get a full head of thick hair like his mom, and I would like him to have his dad’s hair colour. His eyes are still a dark shade of blue, and they will hopefully stay that way, or lighten into the clear blue of his father’s eyes, rather than the muddy grey of his mom’s. His skin is neither too fair nor too sensitive, this is very good, because it means that he can handle the fierce southern sun, and he hasn’t suffered from nappy rash to date. It would have been nice if he was allowed to keep the perfect tone and smoothness of his skin, but he already has his first blemish, a dark freckle or mole on his left thigh. It first appeared a few weeks back, and is now a little bigger, so it seems he will be inheriting the freckled skin from my side of the family.

Two Months

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Today we reached another developmental milestone in Robert’s life. At two months he is blossoming into a cute and very aware little fellow. In the space of one month he changed from an unresponsive little blob (no offense meant) into a tiny human being who reacts and interacts. If we pay attention carefully, we can easily detect his likes and dislikes, the way he calms down at the sound of his dad’s voice or starts getting excited at the sight of a toy, or at the sound of the running water for his bath. We can tell that he is now that he is watching, listening and taking his whole surroundings in. The pictures we take of him these days show him frequently smiling, as most of the time he is happy to see us and to respond to our smiles. His level of activity is also increasing; he loves standing upright (supported of course), and then he can carry his weight for a few second on his little legs.

To celebrate the occasion of Robert’s two-month birthday we took him on a long walk. Two of the churches in our area were holding summer charity bazaars, and we thought we might find something for him there. Unfortunately we were only able to leave the house late in the morning, and therefore there weren’t any exciting offerings left by the time we made it to the bazaars. We had no success either at the second hand charity shop; the books there were of nostalgic value, but will be terribly lacking for the education of a little guy in the 21st century. The final stop on our tour had to be the bookshop, where we bought Robert a little picture book of farm animals, which I had earmarked earlier as a possible present. Robert was asleep throughout the walk as usual, but he had his photo shoot on our return home.
With two months gone since Robert was born, my clock is also ticking. My maternity leave ends in just over two months, and by then I should have concrete plans in place. My ideas on this next stage are still vague, and I have this image of myself continuing to breastfeed and having an easy schedule at work. I know however that this is wishful thinking, things will be difficult for all of us once I get back to work. During the next few weeks I need to do some research, and ask other working mothers how they solved this problem. Like every other breastfeeding mother, I got terribly attached to the time I spend nursing my son. I feel privileged to be able to provide him with nourishment. To watch him thrive as a result, is pure bliss, and I would hate for this special time to come to a premature and abrupt end, before Robert turns six months. I have read in my baby book about breast pumps, and to me this looks like a solution that will enable me to continue breastfeeding exclusively for the recommended six months. It looks good on paper, but I have to find out if it is practical.

The process of planning the next stage is complicated further by Robert’s unpredictable schedule. He still feeds erratically, and his sleep times also aren’t always consistent, especially during the day. And as his alert times become lengthier he is also getting more prone to over-stimulation, which in turn leads to afternoons of irritability and over-tiredness. After today’s long outing, we were in for one of those.

Robert Gets the Needle

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Robert was in a very good mood this morning, he actually went back to sleep between us on the bed after his 6 a.m feeding, which is something he rarely does. I woke up at nine and had a full breakfast before he finally called for me.

Ron was busy checking out tennants at our rental flat, so Robert and I managed together with feeding, bath, and two nappy changes. He was perfectly content through all that, and fell asleep as soon as I put him in his car seat, it is such a pity that we were about to spoil such a perfect day by giving him the needle.

We arrived at nurse B’s rooms shortly after twelve, with less than an hour to spare until closing time, and I feared that we will have a long wait ahead. As it turned out, however, she was busy with one baby, and we were immediately next in line. During the past weeks I got to watch many babies and children getting the needle. The nurse uses one room, she attends to injections and assessments on one side of it, in clear view of the waiting area, where all the moms, babies, toddlers, and some dads are seated. Last week there was quite a line-up of vaccination cases, their reactions, and that of their mothers varies dramatically: A mother of an eleven-month-old girl winced and hid her face as her daughter was jabbed, while another Afrikaans-speaking toddler did not issue a single whimper. In general, though, most small babies would be content throughout the examination right until the moment they feel the needle. The only exception was one older toddler near the end of the waiting line; he started howling the moment his mother moved with him to the other end of the room towards nurse B. He had been silently watching the procession of happy kids working themselves into screaming fits once they go to the other end of the room, and was old enough to know what to expect. Of course, little Robert was innocent of any experience in this regard and did not know what was coming.

Nurse B weighed and measured baby Robert, he weighed 5060 grams, and was gaining beautifully. Next on the agenda was the vaccination, which is a combo injection for: Diphtheria, Tetanus, whooping cough, Hib Meningitis, and Polio. The nurse advised me to sit with Robert in my lap and put him on my breast in order to calm him down quicker once he gets the injection. She injected the vaccine in his right thigh, and there was a little bit of crying, but he soon calmed down and resumed the feeding session. The nurse said that we should expect some fussiness in the next 24 hours. Baby will feel some pain in his upper leg for the next few days, and there was a rare risk of running a fever. We had given Robert a dose of infant drops before heading to the clinic, and the nurse advised us to continue with the recommended dosage at least for the next 24 hours, and later as needed.

Robert did not run a fever. He was a little bit cranky in the evening, but the drops helped calm him and he slept through the worst of the injection’s side effects. His next vaccination appointment is in two weeks’ time, and that one will be oral drops.

Eight Weeks: Discovering the World Outside

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Last week we had our fair share of outings. On Thursday, and buoyed by a good night’s sleep, we drove to the shopping mall at Canal Walk. The objective was to get a faulty digital thermometre swapped, and buy some more baby and medicinal supplies. As it turned out the thermometre needed only a battery replacement, and we didn’t need to buy too many things, so we thought we had some time to treat ourselves to a quick meal at the food court. Baby was sleeping peacefully in the carrier, and the only problem we thought we had to deal with, was finding a suitable type of takeaway that I can safely eat without dripping crumbs or sauce over Robert’s head. After much deliberation I finally decided on spicy potato wedges, while Ron went for the Shwarma. Our little break ended sooner than anticipated, when Robert woke up hungry, and although this was a predictable outcome, we weren’t prepared for it this time. On our earlier stroll around the mall I haven’t spotted or located suitable spots where I can breastfeed discreetly, and the poor baby had to wait for his meal until we were back home. It was an uneasy drive back home, with little Robert crying bitterly, and for a good reason. I felt very guilty at having food in my stomach while my little one went hungry. Lesson number one: Baby has first priority when it comes to allocating meal times.

On Saturday we went for another outing to the V & A Waterfront. This time we were better prepared and armed with our experience from Thursday’s lesson. We timed our outing right after Robert’s feed and were only slightly inconvenienced when his nappy needed a change right after we drove into the parking lot. Ron stepped forward to this task in the awkward space of the backseat, and it went well with no major disasters. Last week Robert was lulled to sleep as soon as we started walking around, this week he looked around a little, before falling asleep.

Ron and I are beginning to notice baby’s increasing interest in the world outside. He now sits up higher in the carrier and can look up over it at the shops and the people. When we walk down our busy street, he watches the passing traffic with some interest, but is thoroughly fascinated with the huge trees shading the pavement. I always see him gazing up to the green canopy. He is also starting to respond to and recognize familiar items: Canuck the teddy bear, the colourful animals hanging above his cot, the changing table and the bathtub.

A warm bath in the early evening has become one of our successful strategies for combating crying fits. It works wonders during these scary times, when Robert closes his eyes and starts expanding his lungs at the expense of our nerves. He stops as soon as he recognizes the sound of running water, and the crying turns to soft whimpers, to disappear completely once he is dunked into the warm water. And although the crying might resume once the bath is over, there is no denying its relaxing effect; Robert calms down with a little snack, and soon settles to sleep.