Reality bites. It bit me this time with its poison fangs. I am alone.
For right or wrong reasons I did what I did and I can go to sleep with a clean conscience.
Yesterday was easy, I was lashing out for my freedom. For my right to be happy, to be loved on the premise of trust, not on the premise of resignation to my fate.
I wanted to meet my destiny and feel the sun on my face.
Today is different. The future lies in front of me, barren and empty. And the thought that perhaps an imperfect love is better than no love all squeezes at my heart with icy hands.
There is also the Fear, at the pit of my stomach, that I have blown my final chance at modest happiness, for an illusion of a perfect one.
I have jumped the water for a second time. This time there is no turning back, I know it for sure this time.